1st blog of New Year!!

Well, even though it was quick, we had a great Christmas. Casey got her iPod touch she wanted, so all is right with the world. LOL. We really do want next year to be all about giving to those in need and not to those who aren't in need, so that is going to be planned immediately, so that friend and family aren't shocked in early December with my idea. :)

We were able to go up to my hometown to see my grandparents and extended family on my mom's side, and to see my Dad's side of the family too!!! It was a great day. I love them all SO much, and I can't imagine not having all of them here.

We finally got our tree down and the house clean yesterday. It is amazing to have my house back. I'm not sad at all that the holidays are over. However, I am very saddened about my dear friend Angela's family. Her mom isn't expected to live another 48 hours. I just can't believe it's real. I truly hate cancer!!!! Please keep Angela and her family in your prayers. They are struggling as you can imagine.

I wish I had some monumental awesome thing to tell you, but I really don't. Casey is back to school and had a great, but cold day. She was glad she wore her long handles. :) Her school was really cold she said. She is in a geography bee on Wed, but hasn't done much studying for it. We will cram tomorrow night.... hmmmm... reminds me of my college days. LOL.

Jason goes on 1st shift on the 17th. It's a 10% pay cut, so I feel I need to find some kind of work to help get that back. Just not sure what to do. I'm not comfortable enough with my photography yet to charge for it, but I do plan on taking a Photoshop CS4 class soon, so that will definitely add to my photos. Still loving my 50mm f/1.4 lens. :)

Casey has several things she wants to do this summer, but it would take her away for 6 weeks. I told her she could do 2 out of the 3, but she isn't sure which 2 she would choose. I feel bad, but I LOVE my summers with her, and don't want her gone the entire summer. We will see what she decides.

I am flabbergasted... my hair has already grown about an inch. My hairdresser has always told me that my hair grows fast, so that's really good, b/c short hair is SO hard to take care of. I have naturally curly hair and when I leave it curly I look about 12. If I straighten it, I look my age, but it takes so long to fix. I can't wait until my ponytail is back, but am just thankful it's coming back at all. :)

To all my friends who don't have facebook, you don't realize how awesome it is to connect with those you haven't spoken to in 20 years until you get on there. I do wish you would all join.... believe me, I'm on there everyday and many times a day... haha!!!

I am ordering new glasses this week. Mine are old and worn out. I also go to Duke on Thurs for a much needed kidney tx appt. Oh for those of you who don't know tx=transplant. I always abbreviate without thinking of those who don't know that. I will go again the next week for a bronchoscopy where they biopsy my lungs to make sure the rejection is still staying far, far away!! I know it is!!! :)

I have many friends in need of lungs. I hope that you will keep all of the people in your prayers waiting on lungs, kidneys, liver, intestines, pancreas, eyes, tissue, heart, etc. There just isn't enough going around, because there are still those not signing their donor card. What a WONDERFUL last gift you could give someone!!!!

Ok before I go, I must shout out to Kristin, Nicole, Rhonda, Anne-Lewis (who turned 40 on Sunday), and Trenda who are my most dearest friends from VA. And also big prayers to one of my besties Angela, who's mom is in the process of dying as I write this blog. I can't tell you the sadness I feel. :(

I am looking forward to the new year. I hope all of you are too!!! Love to all!!

I Acknowledge...

That...

I have not been doing a good job of keeping up with my blogger friends lately.

I am behind on my photography classes.

My floors need mopping.

Closed minded people make me hysterical sometimes.

I am only on page 64 of the book I'm reading for the online book club.

I went back to bed after taking Casey to school and slept until 2:20 this afternoon.

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News...

My friend Jeri, who had a double lung transplant and liver transplant last Thursday, is doing GREAT! She might be getting out of the hospital tomorrow!!! Is that unbelievable or what? I'm so happy for her. What a fighter she is.

My friend Clark, who has cancer and was told to call in hospice, is doing better. He is still in Mexico receiving treatment, and he is sitting up eating and feeling stronger. Yay!!! Definitely an answer to prayer! He still needs your thoughts and prayers though. He isn't out of the woods by any means, but it's just great to hear that he's feeling better and actually able to eat instead of having to rely on parenteral nutrition.

My kidney transplant appointment was very uneventful yesterday! That's a great thing. :) When the doc came in, I was eating chocolate because my sugar was low. For all of you diabetics, you know how sometimes you get a little delirious when your sugar gets low? Well, he must have thought I was a little off my rocker. I acted a little bit like I was drunk. Thankfully, Casey was in there to correct anything I said that was off. haha. I was fine after about 10 minutes. Anyway, my labs look great!!

I got to see 2 transplant friends yesterday. I had met one of the girls right before my transplant. She was about a year out of her transplant when I first met her, but was still on oxygen. She had a really rough time after her transplant, but she's been doing great ever since. She looked awesome yesterday, and we had a great lunch together. Then I got to see another friend, who I only knew online. She was speaking to healthcare workers at Duke about patient advocacy, so Mom, Casey and I went to hear her speak. What a great speaker she is... and so funny! I got to meet her briefly afterward. It's so much fun meeting online friends for the first time in person. I have NEVER been disappointed!

I hope all of you are having a great week! Casey went back to school today. Their spring break was cut short, because of make-up snow days. We did have a good week though!!

Casey just sent me this picture. She took it on her phone yesterday. It's of me and Dana, my friend I met for lunch yesterday...

She got the call!

UPDATE SATURDAY AFTERNOON: This was posted by Jeri's step-daughter Kristen today. "I just saw Jeri, she was doing good. Bekkie & I got to see her walk down the hall, it was pretty amazing considering she did it WITHOUT oxygen. We almost cried. But the doctors came in & said she was a "paper tiger", all her liver numbers are perfect & her lungs are awesome. She's doing really well, just in pain, but we just left because the pain service was in there trying to take the edge off. So, all is excellent. She looks amazing." I'm so happy for and proud of Jeri. Is this awesome news or what? Keep those thoughts and prayers coming!

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UPDATE SATURDAY MORNING: Again, I'm going to copy and paste from Jeri's caringbridge site. The last entry was written by her hubby at 7:30 pacific time last night. It sounds really good!!! Keep the prayers coming. Here is what Doug had to say..."She sat in a chair for over an hour earlier, next step walking around ICU after she rests for a couple of hours. She is still in tons of pain, mostly back pain caused by drain tubes. Dr Hoops says he would like to pull them tommorow. Also doing another bronch in the morning. All the staff in ICU are amazed how well Jeri looks and her recovery up to this point. She has a slight fever, hoping just post op fever.Nurse says probably just secreations in lungs, from not being fully inflated yet. Told Jeri to do her breathing exercise every half hour."

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UPDATE FRIDAY AFTERNOON: Here is the update from Jeri's caringbridge site... Doug wrote "Came back from ICU again, talked to two Lung Docs they said jeri's vitals are strong and stable. ICU nurse said they hope they can get her up and start walking this evening, all I can say is " WOW" so soon.I am so excited for her, her first steps without yukylngs in a very long time. She was a little more alert this time around." I'm SO stoked!

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UPDATE FRIDAY MORNING: Well, I didn't go to sleep until 4:00 am, and I've had my phone by my bed all night. I heard from Doug at 6:30 (eastern time) this morning and again just a few minutes ago. Everything seems to have gone well. Early this morning, he told me that the lungs were in, liver was in, and all they had to do was reconnect the bile duct and artery to the liver, and then close up incisions. Just now he told me that he is getting ready to go up to post-op to see what's going on, because he hasn't heard from the docs in awhile. The last he talked to the surgeons, they said that the organs were working beautifully!! YAY! I'll update when I know more!! Praise God!!!!!!

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UPDATE: The organs were good, so Jeri went into surgery about 4:00 pm pacific time. The surgery will probably take 10 to 15 hours! I'll update as I know more. Please keep those prayers coming.

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My dear friend Jeri just got the call! Yep, she's going in for a double lung and liver transplant!!! She was just listed on Monday!!!!! For those of you on CF2chat, you may remember her.

I am so excited. I had the wonderful privilege of meeting Jeri a couple of years ago when she and her husband Doug came to North Carolina to visit the race shops. They are big Nascar fans! This will be the first double lung/liver transplant that her center has done. Her lung transplant surgeon, who is now the head surgeon at her hospital in California, assisted my transplant surgeon at Duke during my surgery over 7 years ago. He is a really great surgeon, so I know she is in great hands!

Please keep Jeri in your thoughts and prayers today. Pray that the lungs and liver will be viable and in perfect shape to be transplanted, and pray for the wisdom of her surgeons. I will update as I hear more.

YAY Jeri!!!!

Balin's back

We had to take Balin back to the vet this morning, because he seemed like he was in so much pain. They have determined that he has an inflamed disc in his back. He is on pain medicine and an anti-inflammatory. We cannot let him jump on any furniture for 4 weeks. We gave him pain med about an hour ago, and he's sleeping now. They said it might make him a little loopy. He's always been such a happy puppy, so it's really tough seeing him like this.

Casey is going to her dad's later today to spend some time with her cousins from PA. Jason and I are going to our favorite Italian restaurant with some friends of ours we haven't seen in about a year. They live about an hour away.

Is it rainy where you are? We have had rain for so long, that I can't even remember a sunny day. Don't get me wrong, I love rain, because we are literally begging for it every summer! BUT, I would like a day of sunshine every now and then. :) My sinuses are going crazy!

I need your thoughts and prayers for a friend of ours from church. His name is Clark, and he was diagnosed with bladder cancer about 6 months ago. It has now spread through his pelvis and into his hip. The doctors told him to call in hospice, but he and his wife didn't want to give up, so they are now going to Mexico for treatment in hopes that there is something that can be done. He is younger than I am.. 30 something... He and I used to do drama together at the church. Thanks guys!

Is it Wednesday already?

Time is flying. Where has the week gone? Tomorrow I'm headed back to Duke for an appointment with my favorite doctor... my lung transplant pulmonologist. He'll be looking at my Prograf level to make sure we are on track with the lower dose that I'm on, and also my kidney function. Of course, he will also be looking at my pulmonary function tests like always. My numbers were down a little bit last time, so we are hoping they are back up.

I think I'm over-diuresing (if that's even a word). I've been on a diuretic since about a month post-kidney-transplant. I was getting swelling around my ankles and in my fingers, so they started me on that. It's very common for someone who's just had a kidney tx to be on a diuretic. The past few days, I've been very dizzy when I stand up, my skin is starting to dry out, and my weight is down below 100 again. I know that part of that could be my decreased appetite because of the nausea, but I'm also thinking that I'm dehydrating myself. We'll discuss that as well tomorrow. My blood pressure was the lowest it has been in months last night, which of course could be a sign of dehydration, and thus, the cause of my dizziness.

Please pray for a friend of mine... A. A's kitchen caught on fire Monday night, and did right much damage to the kitchen and some smoke damage in other parts of the house. A's family has been through a lot in the past couple of years. It seems like it's one thing after another. We were just talking about going to the Cayman Islands with them this summer. I'm not sure if that will still be on or not.

Here is just one more reason I am thankful for my Mac! :)

I hope all of you are having a great hump day. I'll update after my appointment tomorrow.

Gotta Run

Gotta run to go pick Casey up from school. I'll post some random pictures later on today.

In the meantime, please keep my dear friend Shannon in your thoughts and prayers. She is my friend Lori's (who I've blogged about several times recently) sister. Shannon had her transplant at Duke 2 months after I did. You can go to Lori's blog and read about why Shannon needs your urgent prayers now! Thanks guys.

Lori

Thank you to everyone who is praying for my friend Lori. For those of you who haven't read my previous posts about her, she is a 28 year old CFer, who had a lung transplant 9 years ago. She and I met a few months before my lung transplant at Duke.

Lori was diagnosed with chronic rejection last year. Despite being treated for it, her lung function continued to fall and fell pretty quickly from about November until January. They finally did a bronchoscopy (biopsy of the lungs) last week and found out that she has aspergillus pneumonia. Aspergillus is a fungus that a lot of CFers get. Getting it after a lung transplant though, proves to be harder to treat, because of our weakened immune system. When it actually turns into a pneumonia, it is very serious.

Lori started on an IV anti-fungal, but it doesn't seem to be helping yet. They did another bronchoscopy today. They will not find out the results of that bronch until Monday. I just received a text from her husband Jason saying that the bronch is over with and Lori is sleeping.

Please pray that whatever they find in the bronch, they will be able to treat. Pray that the anti-fungal will start working and she will be feeling a lot better soon. Also pray that her lung function comes back up to her normal range.

Lori is such an awesome girl. She loves life and embraces it! I cannot say enough good things about her. Her sister Shannon also has CF and had a lung transplant several months after me. Their parents both donated lobes to Lori. That family has been through a lot. Thanks so much for the prayers!

Lori

Please keep my dear friend Lori in your thoughts and prayers today. She's getting a bronchoscopy today to try and figure out why her lung function has dropped from the mid 70's to the mid 50's. She's 9 years post-lung transplant and had a living related lobar transplant like I did. She was the 2nd surgery done like that at Duke.. I was the 4th. She received lobes from her mom and dad! She's done so well with her lungs, with the exception of some bouts of acute rejection and some acute infections. I'm really worried about her, and just hoping and praying that whatever they find today will give them some much needed answers and can be treated. They have already discussed the possibility of her having to have a second lung transplant if this is caused by chronic rejection. She lives in Massachusetts now, but would be coming back to Duke if she needed another transplant. We just hope it doesn't come to that anytime soon!

Her hubby (who is also named Jason) is blogging about her bronch today. Go check it out. Oh, by the way, that pic is of Lori and me on one of my visits to see her. :)

Speaking of bronchoscopies, Shawn, another transplant friend is getting bronched today as well. He received his new lungs this past Thanksgiving and has already had an episode of acute rejection. They are hoping that it's gone now, and will know after this biopsy. He has also had a dry cough and they are unsure of the reason. The bronch should give them answers. His wifey poo Tina is such an awesome lady. She and I have so much in common.. both RNs and both have 13 year old daughters. :) Shawn is definitely blessed to have her in his life. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers also.

Pre-surgery checklist

1.) Port de-accessed and re-accessed. Check

2.) Packed. Check

3.) Shaved. Check

4.) Instructions given to Jason on keeping my blog updated.   Check

5.) Sleep medicine taken. Check

6.) Daughter and dog in good hands. Check :)

7.) Eaten everything in site since I'm NPO until surgery tomorrow. Check

8.) Getting a good night's sleep. Soon to be check I hope!!

Night all. I'll probably update at Duke before my surgery, and Jason will update afterwards. Pre-op is at 8:45, and I have to be at surgery check-in at 11:15. I would say surgery will be around 1:00 or so. Thanks so much for all your thoughts and prayers!!

Countdown to surgery... 2 days

Duke called me on Friday to let me know my surgery will be this Wednesday. Thankfully, I won't have to go earlier than Wednesday to do my pre-op. They are letting me do it that morning.

I'll be getting the Caldwell Luc procedure done (don't click on that link if you have a weak stomach). My 3 previous sinus surgeries were done endoscopically, which was much less invasive. They will actually be drilling through bone this time to help assist in the draining of my sinuses. Of course, this will not be a permanent fix for my sinus problems.. no surgery ever is for those with Cystic Fibrosis. The chronic infections we have are just that.. chronic, so the infection can be managed, but not eradicated. This surgery though, is supposed to assist in better irrigation of the sinuses as opposed the previous surgeries I've had.

I think side effects from the surgery include pain (of course, LOL), numbness of the gums for several weeks, facial swelling, and bruising. There are other more serious side effects that I choose to ignore. :) My surgeon is excellent, and I trust him very much. I couldn't be in better hands!!

I am hoping to be discharged on Friday, with a follow-up to the ENT doc next week. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

If I don't post it, does it mean it isn't so?

Jenn passed away yesterday morning. I have not wanted to post this all day. I kept hoping the posts about her were wrong and someone would come back and say she's still with us, she's still fighting. It seems that so many people are losing their battle with this disease lately. I'm so sad that Jenn didn't get that second chance at life with a new set of lungs. My heart goes out to her fiance Andy and her family. Keep them all in your thoughts and prayers.

Update and prayers

I'm sorry I haven't updated on Jenn, but I haven't heard any news at all. I keep checking my CF forums for updates, but so far there are none. I am praying that no news is good news! I will update as soon as I hear/read something.

I've been having some edema (swelling) that I normally don't have, so I am headed out to get blood work to make sure my kidney function is stable. I still haven't heard back from the ENT on a surgery date, so I guess I'll be calling them again in the next day or 2 to see if it's scheduled.

Casey was out of school yesterday because of the tiny amount of snow we had. By 9:00, it was mostly melted.. LOL, but it was really nice having her home all day.

I'm almost caught up on my photography class. I have a few small assignments to do today, and I should be caught up. I have learned a little, and hope to learn a lot more in the next class that I'm taking in March.

Please keep my dear friend (and living-related lobar sister) Lori in your prayers. She was the first transplant recipient I ever met. She had the 2nd living-related lobar transplant at Duke, and I had the 4th. What a great friend she's been to me. It has been almost 9 years since her transplant and she is experiencing some chronic rejection. She also has something else going on with her lungs that the docs can't put their finger on. She'll be getting a bronchoscopy (biopsy of the lobes) in about 2 weeks to hopefully get a diagnosis. Please pray that her numbers come back up and that she's feeling back to normal soon.

Prayers please!!!

I am asking all of my blog readers to please keep Jenn in your prayers. She has CF and is currently in the ICU hooked up to a ventilator. She had a major bleed in her lungs a few days ago, and isn't doing well at all. Please pray for her, her fiance Andy, and the rest of her family.

This is very shocking news. Jenn just posted on her blog last Thursday. Live today like it's your last, because you just never know. How sad I am tonight after hearing about this.

Going on a date with Caldwell

Caldwell Luc that is. I'll be getting this surgery in a few weeks. I saw my ENT doc on Tuesday, and he wants to do the surgery before I finish this round of IV's. I should be getting the surgery date in the coming days. I am SO not looking forward to this. My previous sinus surgeries were much easier, and the recovery time was a lot less than it is with the Caldwell Luc procedure. I would be eager to hear from any of you CFers who have had this done.

Desensitization was successful! It lasted for about 5 hours yesterday, and I was discharged about 6:45 last night. We made it home safely, and Jason went into work last night for a few hours.

I am going to be catching up on my photography class today. I am enjoying it, although we are just learning the basics right now. I still haven't finished last Friday's class, and I have to do yesterday's class too. I also need to catch up in the blogging world. I have so many blogs to catch up on!

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

Genevieve

Please keep my friend Genevieve in your prayers. She is in the hospital as they try to figure out what's going on with her lungs. I had the privilege of talking with her last night for the first time (I met her through the wonderful CF blogging community), and what a sweet, beautiful person she is! She can't seem to find anyone to treat her atypical CF, and she's falling through the cracks of the medical system.

If you make it over to her blog, check out her art gallery. She's a very talented artist.

My prayers are with you Genevieve. Get better soon!

UPDATE: It's 10:30 pm and Genevieve texted and said she was just admitted and the gastroenterologist is going to scope her tomorrow to see what's going on with her. She's having major reflux! They won't do a bronchoscopy on her right now, because it's caused pneumonia in the past. I am pulling for you girl!

The Dead Has Awakened

Christy just finished her second "outing" for the day.  A little after 6 pm she walked one lap on the floor with the nurse.  She completed another two laps about 30 minutes ago.  We had to crack the whip both times to get her out of the bed, but she proved herself a real trooper.  We are at one end of the hall in this shot.  The floor is laid out in a triangle pattern.  One lap is, of course, 3x this distance.  When your side is in stitches and you've been under for almost four days, this is doing great!

This morning I asked God for two things.  The first thing was for visitors.  The second thing I asked was for someone to come relieve me for one night.  

Request #1: One of our pastors from church, Larry, paid us a visit this evening.  He brought us couple of short books and some muscadine sauce that his father makes and sells out of his own vineyards.  I've heard of jelly, but sauce?  I forgot to ask but maybe it would be good served with a grilled steak or chicken breast.  Also, the parents of one of Christy's best friends from Virginia came a callin', too.  

Request #2: Renee, Christy's sister, called me and said she will be driving up tomorrow.  I think her husband and children are coming as well.  Renee asked me if I wanted her to step in for me for a while.  Long story short: Renee will spend Saturday night here in the room with Christy.  I will be going to a hotel room to pass out.

I'm not trying to put down or shun any of our friends or family by mentioning this; Christy and I do not think any less of someone because they don't come to visit.  It's a long drive from our home to Durham, NC.  I know they have lives and responsibilities.  I think if I had asked God for a truckload of telephone poles, He'd have had one roll by the hospital as I was looking outside.  He might have gone so far to park one on the street out front.  God is providing Christy and I with a lot of little things.  His involvement in our lives at this time is huge for us and I really want to acknowledge His presence and His work.

Christy is down to one I.V. tube, however, she has three or four sites still accessed.  They're now using her port which has really helped with the comfort.  We've also gotten rid of the air casts that were on her legs since she is up and moving about, now.  The air casts were wrapped around her calves and a machine would periodically inflate and deflate them to increase circulation in her legs, thus reducing the risk of blood clots.  We also have exorcised the demon, that was the vitals monitor, and have sent it back to the infernal depths from which it came; the storage closet down the hall.  Now we'll get some peace and quiet.  Some, anyway.  With Christy being freed from so many wires and tubes and pipes and conduits and machines and bags and hoses, it's a lot easier to get her in and out of the bed.

Christy is awake but still slow.  Some little things pass right through her short term retention.  But she is remembering most of her experiences, now.  She still wants to sleep a lot and that could be her body healing, too.  I would venture to say that going into this surgery, Christy's mother was in much better physical condition than Christy was.

Based on Christy's progress so far, Monday is looking like the earliest discharge date that we might get.  I'm holding out for Sunday.  How much more active and stronger Christy becomes in the next 36 hours will determine that.  Please keep saying your prayers.

Jason

News!!

The pager went off!!! We just saw the surgeon. She said everything is fine, but the kidney is a little fragile. It doesn't take to movement very well. There is also a minor concern over her breathing. The surgeon wouldn't go into great detail other than they're going to hook her up to a different machine for ventilation. Once they're confident that she's breathing normally, they'll take out the breathing tube. She said it is nothing to worry about, though.  They are moving Mom to ICU in a little while and then we will be able to see her. I am so glad this is almost over with. Thank you so much for all of your support and prayers.

                                                                                                    -Casey

Thoughts about transplant #2

I have to admit, I'm not as "eager" to be transplanted this time around. When I got my double lung transplant, I was literally knocking at death's doorstep. The doctors didn't think I would have lived 2 more weeks. I knew it was my only chance for survival, and I was feeling so bad, that I didn't care about being cut in half and being in pain and dealing with recovery and possible complications.

This time, I know that I could live several more years with these kidneys. I would have to be on dialysis, but this isn't really a life or death situation.. at least not yet. I do want to feel better, and gain weight, and have energy, but I'm NOT knocking at death's doorstep. There is something to be said about getting all of the use out of your old organs before getting new. My docs don't want me to get to the point I did for my lung transplant. They don't want me close to death before they give me a new kidney. I'm thankful for that. Really. And patients with new kidneys tend to do better if they have never been on dialysis.

Having said all that, I'm still a little scared this time around. The first time I was too sick to be scared. I knew that getting lungs was what I had to do to be here for my daughter. Even though this surgery is going to be much easier than my lung transplant, it still scares me, because I am making a choice.. I am choosing to go ahead with it when I still have some life left in my old ones.

I know God is with me, and that He has brought me through so much. I know it's better to be transplanted when I'm healthier than I was the last time. I pray for the peace I had last time.

Nina

My good friend Nina Feinzig passed away today. I never got to meet her in person; only through an online CF forum. It is like that with so many of my CF friends. Nina was such a sweet person... always caring about others more than herself. She will be greatly missed. Thanks everyone for keeping her in your prayers. Cystic Fibrosis has taken the life of so many of my friends. It's a very depressing day.

As Casey said in a recent paper she wrote, CF may not be as common as breast cancer and other diseases, but it sure is devastating for the families and loved ones of those affected by it. I know of no other disease that involves so many body systems and so many problems. I do hope there is a cure one day.

Home again, home again

I got home about 8:30. Duke was really on the ball this time getting an extra staff member on the floor for my desensitization, and getting me out of there. I'm so glad that I had such a short stay.

Jason called the insurance company today to see what they would pay regarding my kidney transplant. I knew that we wouldn't have to pay much, but he wanted an exact number (my surgery alone is about $90,000, but much less than my lung transplant). We only have to pay about $150. I can't believe it. They are also going to pay for most of our hotel room costs (we'll need a hotel room a couple of nights), and our transportation costs. Jason will not have quite the benefits he has now come January, so my transplant coming sooner than expected is really a blessing.

Please pray for my friend Nina who is on a ventilator in Arizona and not doing well at all. I'm so sad for her.