Bronchoscopy results

I just realized I hadn't posted my bronch results on my blog. They were negative for infection or rejection, which is good, but still doesn't rule out chronic rejection. I continue to have some wheezing with exercise which indicates something going on in my small airways, but other than that, I feel great. My pulmonologist wants me back in 4 weeks to repeat my pulmonary function tests again and see if my numbers have come back up. If not, he is thinking of starting me on a medication called Rituximab, hoping that it would reduce my high antibody count and therefore stabilize any rejection I might have going on. There are many other medications out there to try, so if one doesn't work, we can try another.

I was able to meet one of my CF friends on Monday. We knew each other through the internet, but had never met in person. Her name is Amy, and she had her double lung transplant at Duke 4 months after me. It was so exciting to meet her!!! We hope to meet her hubby Roger soon!

I started my online Photoshop class last week. I haven't learned a whole lot yet, but I know that it is going to be very helpful. I'm hoping to really enhance my photos with it. I know it takes years to master Photoshop though, and my old brain isn't what it used to be. LOL.

Jason and Casey are doing well. Jason is adjusting to first shift with his job! It's nice to have him home for dinner and home at night. Casey gets report cards today. She's pretty sure she has all A's. I'm so proud of her for working so hard. She is thinking now that she might want to work for the FBI instead of becoming a doctor. I don't know about you, but when I was her age, I changed my mind about my future every week or so. I never dreamed at that age that I would ever want to become a nurse. Casey's step-mom has a sister and brother-in-law who work for the FBI, so if she becomes serious about this, she has people who can tell her all about how it is in REAL life, instead of how it's portrayed on TV. :)

I'll leave you with some random photos. I hope all of you are doing well and having a great winter....

Golden Globe Fashion 2010

Isn't it nice to get away from the stress of real life sometimes and talk about something fun... like fashion? I had so much fun doing last year's Oscar fashion review, that I thought I would do it again for the Golden Globes this year, because you know me.. I've got an opinion. :)

I do try to steer away from other reviews before I do mine. I did that last year too with my Oscar review, but ended up having the same review about Beyonce's dress as Perez Hilton, whom I would like to NOT share an opinion with. Anyway, if you would like to see pictures of the dresses reviewed below, but not shown, you can go here or to your favorite celebrity site!

Picking best dressed was very hard to do. I try to pick only ONE, and this year, all the gorgeous dresses made that hard to do. When I say best dressed, I do mean make-up and hair too, because you can take a beautiful dress and ruin it with the wrong hair-do or should I say hair-don't!!! Another thing that I had to consider was not just how these women looked in pictures, but how they looked onscreen last night, because sometimes I thought they looked good in pictures, but not so good onscreen, or vice versa.

HINT: You can click on the pictures to enlarge them.

So after reviewing them all again this morning, here is my pick for Best Dressed:



Is she not perfect? Everything about this screams beautiful? Not only did she stick with her Spanish heritage on this, but the dress fits her figure perfectly. Not a lot of women can wear lines that go horizontally across the body, but Penelope sure can. The lace at the top of the gown makes this black dress seem not so typical. Black dresses can be boring, but no one can say that about this gown! Penelope's hair even screams glamour!

Now, my pick for Worst Dressed:



Can you say "OH MY!"? Chloe Sevigny is one big mess in this horrible attempt at a gown. When she was walking up to get her golden globe, the top of the dress kept blowing up in her face, and then I read where her gown actually tore onstage. Who would want to wear something like that? There are way too many ruffles on this and the "blush" color reminds me of the nightmare bridesmaids dresses in the movie "Steel Magnolias". What also made me pick this as worst dressed was the fact that Chloe has a masculine face anyway, and she chooses to pull her hair so severely back that it in no way helps her look feminine. She is young enough to have worn a nice fitting shorter gown, and to have left this dress hanging on the rack!!!

There were a lot of black dresses last night, flesh colored dresses, and yes, some very bold colors too. I thought there was a lot of glamour there! Shorter dresses are acceptable at the Golden Globes, because it is a less formal event than the Oscars, but I do think they should be left to the young girls, not the older ladies. This leads me to this critique.....

Julia Roberts - Um, what was she thinking? I love Julia, and because of who she is, she can mostly get away with anything, but I'm wondering if she just picked a cocktail dress from 10 years ago out of her closet and threw it on before coming to the award show. I'm also wondering if her twins did her hair, or if she just decided to wake up and not do anything to it at all. She is a little old to be wearing a short dress like that to an awards show in my opinion. And what about the gold accessories? Haven't I seen that necklace somewhere before? Like I said, this must have already been hanging in her closet.

Jennifer Aniston - WOW! The picture I found of her on the red carpet wasn't so great, but I'm thinking that's because the rain frizzed her hair up a bit, but by the time she stepped onstage to present, she was stunning and perfect! I know she wears black a lot on an everyday basis, but no one can say anything bad about this black number she had on last night. I even loved the slit, which can't be pulled off by just anyone. It fit her gorgeous body perfectly and wasn't over or understated. Jen, even though you didn't get it right last year at the Oscars because of your little-girl hair-do, you got it perfect this time around.

Kate Winslet - She wears blues and grays a lot. This gown wasn't bad, but I think it could have been more striking. She wears it well, but the navy color is kind of dull, and there really aren't a lot of embellishments on it. Just kind of blah to me!

Reese Witherspoon - I do believe this is the best I have ever seen her look! She is in the best shape of her life, and it shows! The only picture that I found of her is here. Doesn't she look stunning? (As opposed to her mess of a dress last year at the Oscars). Her hair, make-up, figure, dress all scream glamour and beauty. It's a simple, but yet elegant gown, and the one shoulder number gives it that little extra pizazz it needed.

Kate Hudson - Unbelievable gown! I think this is one of those that people are going to either love or hate. I love it!!! The updo, nails and accessories are perfect. I have to say I wasn't that fond of her shoes, but I'm not that fond of most celebrity shoes these days. Personally, I never would have picked a white gown for her, but I couldn't be more happy with it!

Maggie Gyllenhaal - Again, loved it! Peach? Who would have thought peach? But it's perfect! I like the different lines of the dress, and the fishtail at the bottom was just right. She wore it so well! And her skin tone went well with the color. I do believe she could have done a little more with her updo, but she still looks better than I've ever seen her look.

Mo'Nique - She looked fabulous in gold! The diagonals across the top of the strapless dress were beautiful, and this entire dress draped her frame beautifully. I was so happy she chose this. I also like her hair pulled back, but do think she needed some large earrings to complete this look.

Sandra Bullock - Ewwwww! What cheap material did they use to make this see through number? From her neck to her waist was ok, but the rest, including her hair was horrible! Did she have on a mini-skirt under the sheer outer layer of this dress? It sure looked like it when she walked onstage. I think she could have pulled this color off beautifully if the gown were made out of something other than craft paper... or whatever it is.

Halle Berry - Perfection! She wore the black and gold well, and has the perfect body to show off a little cleavage. I like the way the gown showed off her curves too. It was a stunning gown with the perfect embellishment of gold lace. And I love her hair short again, without those hideous extensions. If anyone can pull of this hairstyle, it's Halle!

Sigourney Weaver - I loved this emerald dress on her. It was perfect for her age and figure. The overlapping "folds" of the dress gave it some nice lines. Her hair and earrings were also perfect. She gets an A from me for sure!

Drew Barrymore - This flesh colored number was beautiful. It had quite a few embellisments, and even though I could have done without the little thing on her hip, I still love the dress on her. She looks elegant! I just saw a picture of her with the tips of her hair colored black, so I was afraid of what she would look like last night, but she was gorgeous. I love the beaded overlay on this dress. I also love her understated hair.

Heidi Klum - Well, she's never my favorite on the red carpet, but I must say, this year, she did look nice. It's not something I would ever choose, but the light blue/grayish gown fit her perfect and I loved the off-the-shoulder look.

Emily Blunt - Another chiffon gown! The chiffon overlay MADE this pink gown though. It would have been boring without it. She wears it well, but I must say, her hair is another bed-head for the night. Why put on a beautiful gown and do nothing with your hair? Anyway, she's still a pretty girl, and worthy of a look!

Mariah Carey - Do you want to even go there?? She was my second choice for worst dressed. I have no problem with her having a little weight on her body. It's who she naturally is. BUT I do have a problem when she wants to show the world all she's got!!! Some people (like Halle) can pull off the plunging neckline, but when you have boobies that are as big as Texas (because of surgery I'm sure), you don't need a neckline this low. The dress also looked about 2 sizes too small for her, as do most clothes that she wears. Uhhh.. her hair was nice though!

Jennifer Garner - Speaking of boobies, she is one celebrity who proves to us that you don't have to have fake ones to look good... even great!!!! I loved her gown last night. The neckline of this sparkly, taupe dress was beautiful and unique. I loved her hair down in the back. I mean you don't always have to have an updo as Jennifer Aniston has already proved for the past 10 years with her same hairstyle. Anyway, Jennifer G's earrings were perfect and so was her make-up. When I saw her on the red carpet, I was stunned by how gorgeous she was, but when the camera zoomed in on her during the show, she looked almost skeletal to me. When did she get so thin??

Fergie - Well, stilllllll speaking of boobs... haha! Anyway, her periwinkle (reminds me of the crayon) dress was gorgeous. I would love to buy it for Casey's future prom. The waistline was so stunning and would flatter almost any figure. I do wish she would have had somewhere to put her large breasts other than right under her chin, but still, she looked beautiful in the gown. I would say she's a bit overtanned, but she's always like that, and her hair is always down and a bit messy, so I won't criticize her on that.

Elizabetta Canalis - In case you have no idea who this is, it's George Clooney's current flavor of the month. She's an Italian beauty!! I did like her dress. It was a fleshy colored number that had a very unique waistline. I liked the criss-crossed, peek-a-boo waistline a lot. It accentuated her beautiful figure. Her hair was down with loose curls and just gorgeous. The color of the dress couldn't go more perfectly with her skin-tone.

Cameron Diaz - Ok, I have mixed feelings on this, because the lines of the dress, the waist-line, the neck-line ALL go perfectly with her tall thin frame. BUT the material reminds me of the 80's bridesmaid's dresses we all hated. I'm glad she went bold with red, since there didn't seem to be many red dresses at all last night, and she can rock some red lipstick, but the material is all wrong. Satin doesn't photograph well either.

Gabourey Sidibe - The emerald color is perfect with her skin tone. The material of the dress flowed nicely over her larger frame. And the beaded waistline was gorgeous. The only problem I have with this dress is the fact that it makes her look much older than she really is. It's very matronly, and she is not. I wish she would have done an off the shoulder, or strapless gown instead. And I also would have skipped the necklace.

Nicole Kidman - Yuck! All the way around. Why does she continue to wear dresses that make her look even paler than she really is. These nude colored dresses she keeps choosing are hideous. I didn't like anything about this gown, including the material, the gathering of material at her hips, or the neckline. I also didn't like her updo. Come on Nicole... you are gorgeous.. show us next time that you are!

Jane Lynch - She reminds me of a big gallbladder for some reason. This being her first awards show EVER, you would think she would have wanted to make an impression. I like the tiny belt at the waistline, but that's it! The material, color, and neckline all scream CHEAP PROM DRESS!

Marion Cotillard - Well, once again... I hated it! What's up with her slip showing beneath the slit in her gown? And the lines on the dress looked like they were designed by someone who had a bit too much to drink. The color could have worked though. It's a unique ultra deep aqua. My brain isn't working enough to come up with the exact color. A few more accessories would have been nice too.

Christina Aguilera - I loved this corset-type blushy/fleshy colored dress. It was very, very unique, but she looked divine in it! Her little tiny frame didn't hurt her!! I loved her short bob too. It completed her elegant look.

Diane Kruger - Well, I also considered her for worst dressed, but then again, I didn't expect anything different from her. Being the girlfriend of the Fringe hottie Joshua Jackson, you would think she would dress a bit better than she does. The color was great, but that's the only thing that was. The neckline reminded me of icing on a very bad cake! And what was up with the white, out of place bow-like contraption at her waist? Her hair was also a greasy looking mess.

Toni Collette - Loved, loved, loved the dress, even though it sort of reminded me of Jennifer Aniston's at last year's Oscars. It was a gold beaded number that fit her nicely, had a beautiful neckline, and hung on her tiny frame perfectly. I also loved her updo with a few curls escaping it, creating an elegant and perfect style.

Courteney Cox - Love her in black! Her black hair and black dress go beautifully together. This dress was nothing special, and very understated, but elegant and beautiful on her. I loved the sparkly waistline. Without it, this dress would have faded into the background. I don't particularly like the part in her hair, but come on.. it's Courteney.. she could be bald and would still be just as gorgeous.

Amy Adams - Ok, it's hard to look good in an evening gown when you are pregnant, but I've definitely seen celebs pull it off before. I was happy that she didn't wear a skin-tight dress like some pregger celebs wear, but still... couldn't she have done better than this? The color was just... well... boring. I know red-heads love green, but this is an atrocious color green. The little broach on her dress makes her look 60 instead of the 30ish she really is. The lines of the dress are horrible, and her handbag is not cute at all. I do, however, love her shoes!

Glenn Close - Her long, black, sequined sheath was to die for! Perfect for her age, figure, and body-type. I also loved her hair. She rocked the red carpet!

Anna Paquin - All I have to say about this dress, is maybe she recycles gold, and then melts it down for a red carpet nightmare!

Kristen Bell - I'm glad she went with a shorter dress. It's not too short, so still elegant, but she's young enough to pull off the shorter length. I didn't care for the color (can't tell if it's white or a light blue), and I really didn't like the style that much, but she still looked pretty. I do like her simple necklace and hairstyle.

Anna Kendrick - I am torn! When I look at her I see elegance, but then again, the dress is a little too much for her petite frame. She's a tiny little thing, and it almost overpowers her. I am glad to see a young actress dress like she belongs in Hollywood instead of a Vegas show, but still, I think she could have done a little less and still looked as glamourous.

Tina Fey - Think "Mary Poppins went to prison". This was a nightmare. A complete and total disaster. She is trying to look 20, but in reality looks older than she is in this horrible thing that someone apparently called a gown. And what's up with her shoes? They are not only ugly, but don't go with the gown at all. I love a nude shoe with a black dress, but not with a black and white dress that is so busy, you could get lost in the Twilight Zone just looking at it.

Zoe Saldana - This girl could wear anything because of her slender figure, but she chose this? Why? I love the color on her. It's one that I don't believe has been worn recently at an awards show, but the dress looks like they kept running out of material to make it, and just kept reattaching more as they found it. Her hair is also just blah! I expected more from this cutie.

Julianne Moore - Grandma's dress gone wrong! First of all there is a seam running down the middle of the dress. There is no shape at all to it.. that's what makes me think that they took a big piece of material and sewed it together however they wanted. And then took a big fluffy strip of material and made a neckline out of it. I do like the charcoal gray color on her though! And those earrings... didn't we some similar on Angelina at the Oscars last year? You can't pair beautiful expensive emeralds with a pillow-case.

Sofia Vergara - I loved this dress! The color, the shape, the train, the neckline all work. I like how they incorporated a little burgundy into the the neckline of this grayish blue dress. Simple hair and accessories complete the look.

Ginnifer Goodwin - Did she get this dress at Forever 21? It looks so cheap! She could have pulled off a short dress like this, but it doesn't flatter her hips at all. From the waist up, it's cute, and the color looks great on her, but as far as the dress goes, those are the only pluses. I do love her shoes, hair and earrings though!

Lea Michelle - Even though I think this black ball gown is more suited for the Oscars than the Golden Globes, I think it's beautiful!! Everything about it screams Old Hollywood, and she wears it well! I love her hair and jewelry too. She did well by going with no necklace on this one!

January Jones - Barf a maggot!!! Can I say that on here? She is horrible! I bet Ashton Kutcher was glad he dumped this girl after seeing her last night. Everything from the ruffles on the dress (can you tell I don't like ruffles) to the school girl headband, make her a train wreck!

Heather Graham - When I first saw her on the red carpet, I thought she looked nice, but the closer look I got, the more I disliked this whole look. First of all, she should have worn color.. not black. Save the black for those with a better skin tone. The sequined gown wasn't ugly by any means. It would have looked great on Courteney Cox or Angelina Jolie, but not on Heather. Her hair was also so severely pulled back, that I thought her eyes might pop out of her head. Her boobs were lopsided, and her accessories were greatly understated.

Christina Hendricks - Loved it!!!!! The color was amazing with her red hair. It was a very light peach. Even though this dress had some ruffles on it, they were at the hip where they should be, and the nice diagonal lines of this dress greatly accentuated her figure. She couldn't have picked a better dress!

Jayma Mays - Did she make this dress in her 8th grade Home Ec class? The top looks like they just threw some white ribbon across a plain black dress to spice it up a bit, and the bottom looks like she was caught in a spider web prior to the red carpet. Can I say anything nice about her look? Yeah, her hair was nice and elegant.

OK now let's talk about my "House" girls.. You know, the girls from the show that SHOULD have won last night, but was once again beaten by some show called "Mad Men" that I have never watched, and don't know anyone who has... anyway... here they are.....



Olivia Wilde - Just a reflection of beauty, but she usually is. After all, she IS married to a prince. It's not hard to look good when you have a figure like she does, but she was just perfect. This shimmery, metallic number flattered her figure and had great lines. The plunging neckline isn't too severe and I love the way it lays around her neck. The diagonal drape across her mid-section makes her tiny waist look even tinier and gives her hips a nice, curvy look. She is auctioning this dress off for Haiti too!



Lisa Edelstein - This silvery gown was perfect on her! The color went so nicely with her skin-tone and hair color. When I see the picture here, I don't like it as much as I did when I saw her onscreen. It really did flatter her figure and looked age appropriate. I love the lines of the dress, and the clasp at the bottom of the neckline. Her hair and accessories all added to her look.



Jennifer Morrison - Ok, I was bragging about my House girls last night until I saw Jennifer. I can't think of one time on the red carpet that she's looked nice. She always chooses the wrong dress, either looking like a tramp or just a hot mess. This time, I'm not sure what to call it. I think of a very busy sewing machine when I look at her. The color could have worked with her skin-tone and now blonde hair, but the ruffles make it to difficult to see past them and even look at the rest of her. Poor Jennifer.. get a new stylist ASAP.

Ok, I would love to hear your opinions. I'm not sure I have as many readers as last year when I did the Oscar review, but if you are one of my FB friends without a google account, I do allow anonymous messages, so you don't have to sign up for an account to comment. I hope you have enjoyed this. I really do like critiquing all the Hollywood celebs while I sit on my sofa in my p.j.s.

Bronchoscopy number 486

...Ok, not really, but sometimes it feels like it. I have had many of them since my lung transplant over 8 years ago, but not quite that many (I don't think).

I went to Duke yesterday for another bronchoscopy (biopsy of lungs) and a visit with my lung transplant pulmonologist. I had some acute rejection back in October and did some IV steroids and a prednisone taper for it. I went for a follow-up bronch in November, and everything came back clear. No rejection or infection. This was to be my last follow-up bronch due to the rejection, and then I would just go back to my yearly bronch like normal.

Before my bronch yesterday, I had blood work, pulmonary function tests (pfts), and an xray done. My pulmonary function tests were down quite a bit since my last visit. My total lung capacity was only down about 4%, but the number that indicates how your smaller airways are working was down 17%. I had my bronch, and just like last time, had an allergic reaction to something. I believe they have switched the medication that numbs the back of your throat, because the meds they use to sedate me are still the same. Anyway, on top of the sedating medications, I had to get 50 ml of IV benadryl. The rest of the day is a little blurry, because of all of that.

After the bronch, I saw my pulmonologist, and he explains to me that my blood work shows that I have bone marrow suppression. This means that my blood cell counts are really low... both red and white. I'm even more anemic than I was at my nephrology appointment last week, and my white cells are down even lower too. My pulmonologist believes that the combination of two of my medications are doing this, so he has discontinued one of them. It is the medicine that prevents me from getting CMV or cytomegalovirus. Because I was CMV negative at the time of my lung transplant and my mom was CMV positive (in other words, she had the virus sometime in her life, and I hadn't), it put me at risk of developing the virus. For someone healthy, this doesn't mean much, but for someone immunosuppressed, it can cause a lot of problems if you get this virus in your lungs or intestines. I have had it in my blood twice since transplant, but it was treated with an IV medication. Now that I won't be on the medication to prevent it, there will be a chance of me getting it again, but that's the chance my doctor is willing to take, because bone marrow suppression can be much worse and can keep me from fighting off ANY infection. The other med that was aiding to this suppression is one of my anti-rejection medications called Cellcept, and especially because of my recent rejection, he did not want to discontinue that one. He is hoping that my counts will be up in a few weeks.

Now concerning my smaller airways and my lower pfts, he is thinking we might see some rejection or infection on this bronchoscopy. The results will not be back until Monday unfortunately. If it is a negative bronchoscopy (in other words, nothing shows up), then he thinks this is probably just continuation of my chronic rejection, which started back in 2007. Chronic rejection can progress at different rates, and differs from acute rejection in that acute rejection is usually taken care of with a round of steroids, whereas chronic rejection is very unpredictable and can be slowed down, but not really stopped for good. You can have a sudden drop in your lung function and then stabilize for years, or it can be fast and you can lose all lung function over a period of months. My chronic rejection has previously been treated with Cellcept and Azithromycin. That seemed to stabilize everything. Now that my lung function is dropping again, if the doctor suspects it's the chronic rejection doing it, he will decide on a course of treatment. I asked him yesterday what that might be, and he said he won't make that decision until my bronch results come back.

This is just going to be a waiting game to see if my blood counts come back up, and to see what my lung function does. I recently started exercising again, and it seems that every time I start to get in shape again, something sets me back. I'm going to attribute that to being allergic to exercise!!! :) Just kidding... I won't let any of this stop me from continuing my exercise regimen. I will post again on Monday after I get the results. Love to all!

1st blog of New Year!!

Well, even though it was quick, we had a great Christmas. Casey got her iPod touch she wanted, so all is right with the world. LOL. We really do want next year to be all about giving to those in need and not to those who aren't in need, so that is going to be planned immediately, so that friend and family aren't shocked in early December with my idea. :)

We were able to go up to my hometown to see my grandparents and extended family on my mom's side, and to see my Dad's side of the family too!!! It was a great day. I love them all SO much, and I can't imagine not having all of them here.

We finally got our tree down and the house clean yesterday. It is amazing to have my house back. I'm not sad at all that the holidays are over. However, I am very saddened about my dear friend Angela's family. Her mom isn't expected to live another 48 hours. I just can't believe it's real. I truly hate cancer!!!! Please keep Angela and her family in your prayers. They are struggling as you can imagine.

I wish I had some monumental awesome thing to tell you, but I really don't. Casey is back to school and had a great, but cold day. She was glad she wore her long handles. :) Her school was really cold she said. She is in a geography bee on Wed, but hasn't done much studying for it. We will cram tomorrow night.... hmmmm... reminds me of my college days. LOL.

Jason goes on 1st shift on the 17th. It's a 10% pay cut, so I feel I need to find some kind of work to help get that back. Just not sure what to do. I'm not comfortable enough with my photography yet to charge for it, but I do plan on taking a Photoshop CS4 class soon, so that will definitely add to my photos. Still loving my 50mm f/1.4 lens. :)

Casey has several things she wants to do this summer, but it would take her away for 6 weeks. I told her she could do 2 out of the 3, but she isn't sure which 2 she would choose. I feel bad, but I LOVE my summers with her, and don't want her gone the entire summer. We will see what she decides.

I am flabbergasted... my hair has already grown about an inch. My hairdresser has always told me that my hair grows fast, so that's really good, b/c short hair is SO hard to take care of. I have naturally curly hair and when I leave it curly I look about 12. If I straighten it, I look my age, but it takes so long to fix. I can't wait until my ponytail is back, but am just thankful it's coming back at all. :)

To all my friends who don't have facebook, you don't realize how awesome it is to connect with those you haven't spoken to in 20 years until you get on there. I do wish you would all join.... believe me, I'm on there everyday and many times a day... haha!!!

I am ordering new glasses this week. Mine are old and worn out. I also go to Duke on Thurs for a much needed kidney tx appt. Oh for those of you who don't know tx=transplant. I always abbreviate without thinking of those who don't know that. I will go again the next week for a bronchoscopy where they biopsy my lungs to make sure the rejection is still staying far, far away!! I know it is!!! :)

I have many friends in need of lungs. I hope that you will keep all of the people in your prayers waiting on lungs, kidneys, liver, intestines, pancreas, eyes, tissue, heart, etc. There just isn't enough going around, because there are still those not signing their donor card. What a WONDERFUL last gift you could give someone!!!!

Ok before I go, I must shout out to Kristin, Nicole, Rhonda, Anne-Lewis (who turned 40 on Sunday), and Trenda who are my most dearest friends from VA. And also big prayers to one of my besties Angela, who's mom is in the process of dying as I write this blog. I can't tell you the sadness I feel. :(

I am looking forward to the new year. I hope all of you are too!!! Love to all!!