Saturday, June 6, 2009

Chatty Christy

FIrst I'll tell those who don't know (and I'm assuming most of you do since I have you on my FB, my mom talks to you, or you read my tweets) that I was diagnosed with C.Diff. on Wednesday night. I had been having some symptoms since I was in the middle of the last course of antibiotics that I took, but I always have intestinal symptoms on antibiotics, so I didn't think much about it. I had been off the antibiotic for about a week and I started having severe diarrhea, and a high fever (101 which is way high for someone who takes prednisone). I was feeling so bad that Jason took me to the ER Wednesday night around midnight.

The first thing I told the triage nurse was that I needed to be tested for C. Diff. After looking at my history, she agreed and sent me straight back. I have heard of so many people having this go misdiagnosed for way too long, and I didn't want to be one of those people. After about 5 hours in the ER, they informed me that I did have it and would start me on Flagyl for it (this is after talking to my transplant team at Duke, which he was way eager to do thank goodness). Of course being in the CF/transplant community I have heard horror stories regarding C. Diff. like not being able to get rid of it with Flagyl or the ONLY other drug that works on it.. Vancomycin, and one story I heard even involved removing a section of intestines to finally rid her body of it.

So, after having read "The Secret" and deciding that positive thinking goes a very long way, I decided right then and there that this Flagyl WILL take care of it, I will NEVER have anymore problems with it, and that will be that. :)

I will talk about something that some people think is taboo to talk about.. depression!!! I am an RN, so my thinking may be different than some of yours, but in my opinion, if you need to be treated for depression, get treatment. Don't "fight" it, don't think it's going to mysteriously disappear, DO something about it. Now there have been many times in my life that I have had what I call "situational depression", you know.. that depression that comes when some event in your or your family member's life just plain sucks and you feel helpless. A lot of those times, I'm all for waiting it out, looking for ways to change things, and talking it over with others. And believe me, I'm ALWAYS (no matter what the cause of depression is) for praying!!

Well, as I've told some of you, I've had some depression after my last transplant. Yes, it happened after my first one too, which required me to be medicated for it for about 6 months until things got back in order. So, I've been dealing with this depression for several months trying to work through it (not that it was a situational depression at all) by talking it through to others, praying, and trying to keep busy. The depression got worse!!!!!!! AND WORSE!!!!!! And finally to the point where I knew that I needed a mild anti-depressant to get over this hump. I started on one a couple of weeks ago and am already feeling more like a person again, and getting back in touch with those that I have withdrawn from.

Now there are some people who think you can pray your way out of depression. My question to those people is... can you pray your way out of Cystic Fibrosis, Diabetes, Cancer, or any other disease? I mean don't get me wrong, I do pray, and I do ask people to pray for me, but in addition to prayer, I take my insulin, I take my CF drugs, if I had cancer, I would definitely take the treatment. What's the difference with depression? As a nurse, I learned there is none. If I don't try to make myself healthier by treating this depression, then I may as well stop taking my anti-rejection meds too. The body is a "whole system". It's not just dictated by one bodily part or one system, it works by being healthy as a "whole", and believe me, mental health is a VERY big part of that WHOLE!

I know that some people are influenced by what their parents told them, and THEIR parents told THEM, etc. AND some people may even be influenced by Tom Cruise himself, LOL. But please, I beg of you, if you think you might need to be treated for depression, get help.. just like you would get help if you had diabetes or any other illness. It's NO different.


Aimee said...

First of all I hope you start getting better asap =]

And second of all I couldn't agree with you more on the subject of depression. About six years or so ago I was depressed. It was something I thought I would get over or make myself better. I hid how I was feeling from everyone so they wouldn't worry and honestly it was something I was embarrassed about. I ended up waiting way to long to get help and things got bad fast.

Thankfully though I did get the help I needed. I was on anti-depressants for quite sometime and saw a psychologist and psychiatrist for a couple years. That time was the darkest time of my life but I realized there is no reason to be embarrassed about being depressed. And there is nothing wrong with getting help. Depression really is not something you can fix yourself. It's a disease just like, CF, cancer, etc.

So what I am trying to say is thanks for the post and I hope you feel better! haha said...

I've had C.Diff. before as well, in fact one year I was in the hospital for Haloween and dressed up as the super hero CDIFF Man, and YOU WILL get rid of it through Flagyl!

Also, thank you for being so open about depression. I myself have never struggled with it but many of my CF friends and other family members have. I agree, seek treatment.

Lastly, I absolutely believe that you can pray your way out of CF. Now, am I counting on God to lay His healing hand on me and take it away? No. But I know that He could. For me, I KNOW with out a doubt that He allowed me to have CF to bring Glory to HIs name and that's what I try to do every day. Ok, I'm done with the sermon, sorry.

Have a great day!!!


Cindy said...

I agree with you Christy! I myself have been on something mild for a few months now, and feel like I am back to myself again. I, too felt embarrased by it, almost like I had I had the scarlet letter written across my chest, but when you need it, you need it.

If you need help, get help.

Katey said...

Great Post! I did a post on depression awhile back. I like getting people's opinoins on this issue. And while I think we think alike in some ways, I also deal with depression different ways as well. I've been blessed to not have to deal with it recently.....but did get treated for about 1 year or so with medicines. I have strong feelings about the subject though and feel you can be accused of depression when It's not really going on. But like you said, you can't pray your way out of cf, cancer, etc. This time in the hospital...i've been so frustrated, because there have been things that the doctors have found that I wish they had found a long time ago. But I can't do anything about it right now.

I hate that you got C Diff. I know it will go away with the Flagyl...praying you feel MUCH better real soon! Thanks for this post!

Natalia Ritchie said...

I have two opinions on the subject. First, I think that doctors over medicate people, especially people that are on lots of medication already. I think depression meds are top of that list.
But, I do believe that depression is very real, and very dangerous, and should not be something that you should just wish or pray away. That is silly. Everyone that I ever spoke to before taking anti-depressants, is always amazed at how amazing they feel after some course of treatment. They fight it forever, and once they take something, they go, ahhh, wow, I feel so much more like myself!
So, if you need to, take the help. 100% You know yourself, as I know myself. Why not get help when you need it. You are right, it's like enzymes, insulin, like anti-rejection drugs. You do not owe anyone an explanation.

I am very proud of you for knowing what you need and getting it.

I hope that Flagyl treatment works!! That I am praying for!! I also pray that your depresson treamtnet works and that you rise above all of this.


OceanDesert said...

I say, if you need it, you need it and ain't no shame in that... (anti-depressants) but I too, think, so often they are over prescribed.

I like "Chatty Christy"... She should come out more often ;) I know the Flagyl is going to WORK.

Piper said...

Christy, first off glad they discovered the cdiff and hope the flagyl kicks its a**! Your self-diagnostic skills rock! ;)

Also, thanks for sharing re: the depression. You are so right. I have recently started having major anxiety attacks about my CF and transplant -- constantly worried about "doing enough" and berating myself whenever I started to focus on life instead of CF even for a few minutes. Then I went back to work and suddenly started having panic attacks where I honestly thought I was just going to drop deam. I was SO scared to talk to my doctor about it, but I did and she's helping me get it under control. Depression and anxiety are two very real manifestations of CF symptoms, but I think we as cystics are so used to "dealing with it" that we're often reluctant to get help. But I tell you...having this anxiety under control has allowed me to do my treatments, my exercise, and go to work/play with my friends for the past couple of days without constantly fighting down moments of sheer panic. That makes it as worth it to me as ANY of my other CF drugs!

Love you hon!

Tina said...

So glad to hear you are on the Flagyl and on your way back to normal bowels!! Woohoo! Ahhh C-diff brings back so many fond nursing memories, the color, the odor, yup, good times...good times.

I couldn't agree more with your attitude of positive thinking. You will get rid of the c-diff.

Depression, ugh. I have struggled with depression for most of my life. First documented at age 10, how weird. I also carry the diagnosis of "B". This makes for an interesting life.

I wish I could accept it the way you do. Don't get me wrong, I am compliant with my med regime on most days but I still get angry and rebellious about it.

Of course seeing I am in such good company makes it an easier pill to swallow. Thanks for being honest Christy. Taking the stigma down a couple of notches is refreshing.

CowTown said...

I completely agree too. I think it could possibly be harder for some to get the need for anti-depressives, medical drugs, etc if they haven't had the serious need like the cystics.

I'm always a little surprised when I hear talk of do whatever you can to avoid the littlest of meds like tylenol/aspirin or whatever, especially anything stronger then that. Obviously they haven't needed anything stronger to save their lives, or maintain their lives and I can see that. It's just not coming from the same place is all.

I'm also so happy that you were as sharp as you were with your own diagnosis. That's soooo important. It happened to me one time when I was having kidney failure. I knew it was that b/c I had had it before and was familiar with the feeling, but I just wasn't full blown yet. Tests showed, sure enough....I was having kidney troubles.

So you go! We sure do learn a ton while going through all we do.

Big hugs to you Christy!!!

*Tracy* said...

i hope you start feeling better! hugs

Kori said...

ACK C-diff. Richard did a 24 day stay last Novemebr thanks to C-diff. That is come rough stuff. Hope you get to feeling better soon and don't forget to eat your yogurt!