Friday, September 19, 2008

Don't hate me because I'm skinny!

Which looks better to you????????????

In this world of "you can never be too thin", I find that some people hate me before they even get to know me. Yes, it's because I'm skinny, and they think that they should be too. What they don't realize is that I WANT curves, I WANT a nice big behind, I WANT to be able to eat my meals without the feeling of wanting to throw up.

I'm 5'5" and, as of this morning, I weigh 95 lbs. It's very difficult to find clothes that fit me without looking like I'm 13 years old. I want to look sophisticated! I don't want to look like a toothpick anymore!!!!! AND.. I don't want strangers or friends reminding me how skinny I am. It's not a good thing. It's not something to envy. It's not a reason to hate. Simple.

I actually had someone say to me one time... "I hope everyone here isn't this skinny." (She had just moved to the area). I just smiled, but what I really wanted to say was... "Nope!!! Just the REALLY sick ones." In the first 2 seconds of meeting me, she judged me because of my size. And I've had it happen since then. How wrong is that?

In college, I was a little pudgy.. to say the least. I dieted just like all of my friends did. I wished for skinniness. Be careful what you wish for.. you might just get it!!


Jennifer said...

I once dated a larger man, and his family was also overweight. I went shopping with them one day, and we went into Lane Bryant. The entire time I was there, the sales ladies glared at me. It wasn't paranoia- even my ex's family commented on it. If they only knew what I've gone through to get my body like this, perhaps they would have stopped hating me so much.

Shea said...

This is one I had to think about. For those of us who are overweight, it is very hard to understand where you are coming from. I'm a 12 now, but I fluctuate. It is so hard shopping with a "thin" friend. There are a whole hosts of stores I still can not shop in because nothing fits. This just makes your self esteem so bad. Still I can try and see it from your angle. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. I hope you are able to gain the weight you need to feel. better.

Christy said...

Yeah Shea..
I agree. The grass IS always greener on the other side. I think you look great btw. :)

Amy said...

My friend and I just had this discussion last night. He is skinny too (NO CF). Both of us commented on how we hate being so thin and getting all the wisecracks remarks about how great it must be to be so skinny. If people only knew what it took to gain a pound. I get mad at the magazines that tell you how to loose weight, they never seem to relaize that there are some people who need help gaining weight. Both sides of the spectrum suck LOL!

Lisa J. said...

Girl I don't think you were pudgy at all in college. you were beautiful just like you are now. ...... inside and out!

Christy said...

I was "slimmed down" by the time I got to nursing school. Went I first went away to college though (right after high school), I definitely had the freshman 15 (or 20)extra pounds on me. I will have to dig out a picture and post. :)

Thanks for the compliment girl. I feel the same about you!!

whatsherface said...

Along these same lines, I also find it quite annoying when someone I know says to me, "oh wow, you look like you've lost weight", with a sympathetic look on their face. I would never say to my hugely overweight friends or family, "wow, you've really gained weight!!"

I try to explain it to 'healthy' people like this: you know when you're dieting and you work really hard and eat nothing but salads and fruit and you lose 10 pounds and you're really happy so you celebrate by eating one piece of chocolate cake...and you gain 5 pounds back overnight? Well for me, I can work really hard and eat and eat and eat and after a couple of months of force-feeding myself I might gain about 10 pounds. But if I skip even ONE meal, I lose 5 overnight; you know how it feels to work so hard and have it ripped away from you so easily; it feels the same way for me.