Tuesday, December 9, 2008

My Honest Scrap Award.. and the truths that come with it

My very own Honest Scrap Award from Genevieve. Beware of the truths that follow...

Confession time.. or just plain 'ole truths about myself???

1.) Ughh.. I was in denial of my CF for years. I was quite the partier in the first year of college and lived off of beer that year. Ok, not literally, but I did have a lot of it. I gained the freshman 15 and made my docs happy, but only because they thought it was from food and not beer. I thought that if I lived the life my friends were living, it meant I didn't have CF and I would be normal. I had never been hospitalized, and had always heard that CFers spend their lives in the hospital, so it furthered my denial that I really didn't have it!! I even had a friend in my first year of college who had CF and was very sick, but that too made me go into MORE denial that I even had the disease in the first place. I got straightened out about a year later, but my stupidity that year will forever weigh on me and affect me.... not physically... just emotionally.

2.) My major was fashion merchandising until I finally realized I was "sick", and I decided I wanted to help others who also had some illness. I switched my major to nursing when I was 20. This is so true for so many CFers.. we tend to go into the medical field. I am happy I got my 4 year degree and was able to work in the nursing field for 3 years after that, but also sad that I can never do nursing again because of my health. I miss it and do sometimes feel I have a "wasted" degree.

3.) I hate housework that is repetitive, like dusting, doing laundry and loading and unloading the dishwasher. I have been known to put them off until the end of time. I have actually been able to write my name in my furniture before, even though I really try to not let it get to that point. I don't mind cleaning out closets, or boxing things up to move, because it's not something I have to do everyday. 

4.) I love beautiful clothes, but I don't normally buy them for me. I get a little envious of my friends who wear designer digs, but yet, I never seem to venture far from the hoodie, jeans, converse look that I am accustomed to. I would love to go on "A Makeover Story" and actually be dressed up to look like a sophisticated 30 year old (I didn't say 40), but since I have no job, and my church is very casual, I find that I cannot justify the cost of purchasing them myself. 

5.) I had as close to a perfect body as I'll ever have the summer after Casey was born. I finally got hips, and just looked overall healthy and fit. It wasn't long after that that I got the "CF look" with a barrel chest and skinny arms and legs, but I enjoyed it while I had it. Oh to be 25 again.

6.) On that note, I am very vain. Probably too vain. I love the fact that I am living past the "life expectancy" for a CFer, and I celebrate every birthday, but I am also afraid of wrinkles and sagginess where it's not supposed to be. 

7.) I can be mean!!!! My husband says it's my fighting spirit and the only reason I'm alive today, but yes, I can be irritable and downright mean to the people closest to me. Can I blame this on the prednisone??

8.) My illness does get to me. I would say I generally tolerate it well, but there are days when all I want to do is complain. I try not to do it on my blog, because I do realize there are people out there reading this that are going through a whole lot more than I'll ever go through, but my friends and family get the brunt of it.  Sorry Angela, Kristin, Nicole, Rhonda, and Anne-Lewis, and of course my family. You guys are troopers for always being there to listen to my gripes.

9.) I occasionally let a bad word slip. I'm not a big "cusser", but I have been known to say a few when I'm really mad. I don't really want to hang around someone with a potty mouth, but do find that the occasional bad word will help me get some of my frustrations out.

10.) I am not good with money. Even though I'm not a big shopper, I'm not a big saver either. I have never been able to make wise investments. I think I'm doing a pretty good job with Casey's college fund, but when it comes to my own money, I could really stand to take a class in budgeting.

Well, that's my 10 honest things for today. I could probably take up an entire page of confessions/truths but I won't.. not today. Thanks for tagging me Genevieve, and making me be more honest than I would like... hehe.

I am going to tag anyone reading my blog who has a blog themselves.


Katelyn said...

That sounds like fun! I'm going to do it!

steveroni said...

Gosh, I almost didn't comment when I realized commenting is self-tagging.

Oh, well. You were a nurse for 3 years. You think "a wasted degree"???

At age 43 (3 years sober) I went back to get a Masters in Music Ed...and I have NEVER taught, to this day (30+ years later). But surely it has not been a wasted degree. I learned how to read, write (ughhh!) and to communicate!

No waste. And I'm still sober. No waste there, either! And, like you, I can help others with my disease. It is also chronic, and also fatal, if I do not take care of it daily.

Good bye for now, from steveroni

Christy said...

Well Steve, I have been able to understand my illness better because of my degree, do pretty much all of my home care myself including my port care and IVs, and basically understand pretty much all of what my docs and nurses discuss regarding my illness, so no, it's not a total waste. I do, however, wish that I could still use it to help others. I miss being a nurse.. I truly do.

steveroni said...

Understand totally.

BTW...at age 43, I had given up the violin playing, cut the tip off a finger of my left hand.

Going back to a school in Missouri for that music degree (free) gave me the opportunity to get back in "playing condition" and I've been making music ever since, so--again--not at ALL a waste. It's given me more than 30 more years of fun!

I'm really sorry you cannot report the same type experiences, but I guess we each got our "own stuff".

I would not want your illness for the world. At least, my cancer (prostate) was remitted, probably for a long time. You must live with and FOR your own disease, day after day.

I think of you fondly and often, Christy! I am glad we have 'found' one another. Cheers!

Cindy said...

I'm working on my 10 Honest things. Hope to have it up soon!